Choices

Working or staying home?

Recently, I was offered the opportunity to take on a contract position in a very interesting office. But while the opportunities that were laid out for me were extremely interesting and something I was unlikely to experience again, I couldn't get it out of my head, "he will only be this little once". 

After birthing my son, I leapt back into school work the following week. I was back in some classes three or four weeks later (I had a cesarean so my recovery was not quite what we expected... along with an earlier than expected baby). I was permitted extra time to finish my courses, and two days before the beginning of the next semester I handed in my assignments. After spring semester I "took time off", meaning we had family vacations planned and I had my gall bladder removed, shortly before that I enrolled in distance courses to continue plugging at my degree. 

This April when I finished my courses for the final part of my degree I realized that this was my turn to take maternity leave! And then I was offered the amazing opportunity...

Daycare is expensive. 

The position will cover that, and then some.

I am so anxious when I am away from him for more than five hours. 

He has to grow up sometime.

He is going to be sick constantly from daycare like he was at the last daycare.

This will happen at some point: either now at daycare or later in kindergarten.

Full-time work is going to be exhausting.

It is only for three months.

He will only be little once. 

This opportunity will only be here once.

I have no idea what is the harder choice: to take the job or to stay at home. Both will have hard days, both will have days that hurt. I was secretly hoping by writing this all out that I would have a better idea as to what I needed/wanted/should do regarding this, but I am just as confused as ever. There is no wrong choice, but I am not sure there is a right one.